Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
