He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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