No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Randomize