Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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