she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Two words: nipple clamps
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