Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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