he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
