Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
