giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
