So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Randomize
