She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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