We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
