So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Randomize
