dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
