Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Randomize
