I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
