your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
