brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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