i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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