Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
