I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
