She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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