When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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