I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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