Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
