why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
