I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize