I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
