glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
My pussy is not your playground.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize