ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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