i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
