fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
how drunk are you?
Several
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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