i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
love makes seman taste better
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Randomize