69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
No...this little piggys going to the bar
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
