I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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