Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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