Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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