I love black thongs
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
