Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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