Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
