Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
