this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
