He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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