ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize