Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
