I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
