Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
