she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
