she was so not down for the gang bang
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
