You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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