So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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