I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
