The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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