I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
