the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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