what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
