It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
