i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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